2018 dystopia logbook: happy piss year

Let's talk Aguachile Alley

Postby DasLofGang » Sat Jan 13, 2018 3:42 pm

TVs are really flat and the picture is incredibly sharp

that's it. that's all we got.
Yes, sir, I've become a real "Net-Head!" I don't know how I communicated before I got online!
User avatar

DasLofGang
 
Posts: 39302
Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 10:18 am
Location: Politricks

Postby tgk » Sat Jan 13, 2018 8:59 pm

User avatar

tgk
 
Posts: 51447
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:45 pm
Location: Chicago

Postby rixx » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:02 pm

tgk wrote:


User avatar

rixx
 
Posts: 20184
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 12:08 pm

Postby tgk » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:06 pm

those probably aren't as bad for you
User avatar

tgk
 
Posts: 51447
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:45 pm
Location: Chicago

Postby Lucky » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:10 pm

Add anthrax to tide pods
katy perry pissing all over my diamond-encrusted crown as I sentence another peon to death
User avatar

Lucky
 
Posts: 49026
Joined: Thu May 06, 2010 9:38 am

Postby tgk » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:15 pm

hopefully they start banning tide pods, those things are wasteful
User avatar

tgk
 
Posts: 51447
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:45 pm
Location: Chicago

Postby Paul » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:39 pm

Durham wrote:



good account




https://gfycat.com/affectionateuniformamericancrocodile




also, hawaii related. people getting their children in to the sewer

https://gfycat.com/unsungdamageddwarfrabbit



2018 is fun!
lordofdiapers wrote:Paul is worthy

guy forget wrote:Woah wait a minute Phish is dumb as hell
User avatar

Paul
The Nappy King™
 
Posts: 26717
Joined: Tue May 25, 2010 11:18 am

Postby joe » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:17 pm

User avatar

joe
 
Posts: 39446
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:14 pm
Location: horse kingdom

Postby joe » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:18 pm

i mean a lot of shs belongs here but this one feels particularly insane
User avatar

joe
 
Posts: 39446
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:14 pm
Location: horse kingdom

Postby theta » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:34 pm

Image
Jeremy wrote:If you want a vision of the future, imagine a sarcastic serf - forever.
gothical storm
theta
 
Posts: 16795
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:50 pm
Location: world of darkness

Postby Honk For Dracula » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:18 pm

User avatar

Honk For Dracula
 
Posts: 57914
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:28 pm
Location: Jerklyn

Postby office plant » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:34 am

Image
An early-morning emergency alert mistakenly warning of an incoming ballistic missile attack was dispatched to cellphones across Hawaii on Saturday, setting off widespread panic in a state that was already on edge because of escalating tensions between the United States and North Korea.

The alert, sent by the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency, was revoked 38 minutes after it was issued, prompting confusion over why it was released — and why it took so long to rescind. State officials and residents of a normally tranquil part of the Pacific, as well as tourists swept up in the panic, immediately expressed outrage.

“What happened today was totally unacceptable,” said Gov. David Y. Ige. “Many in our community were deeply affected by this. I am sorry for that pain and confusion that anyone might have experienced.”

Officials said the alert was the result of human error and not the work of hackers or a foreign government. The mistake occurred during a shift-change drill that takes place three times a day at the emergency command post, according to Richard Rapoza, a spokesman for the agency.

“Someone clicked the wrong thing on the computer,” he said.

State officials said that the agency and the governor began posting notices on Facebook and Twitter announcing the mistake, but that a flaw in the alert system delayed sending out a cellphone correction. As a result, they said a “cancellation template” would be created to make it easier to fix mistaken alerts. A new procedure was instituted Saturday requiring two people to sign off before any such alert is sent.
Continue reading the main story
Related Coverage

Opinion Editorial
False Alarm Adds to Real Alarm About Trump’s Nuclear Risk JAN. 13, 2018
Hawaii Wants to Be Prepared for a Nuclear Attack by North Korea JULY 25, 2017
Hawaii Brings Back a Cold War-Era Nuclear Warning System NOV. 28, 2017
Intelligence Agencies Say North Korean Missile Could Reach U.S. in a Year JULY 25, 2017

At no time, officials said, was there any indication that a nuclear attack had been launched on the United States. The Federal Communications Commission announced that it had begun “a full investigation into the FALSE missile alert in Hawaii.”

The alert went out at about 8:10 a.m., lighting up phones of people still in bed, having coffee by the beach at a Waikiki resort, or up for an early surf. “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL,” it read.

Hawaii has been on high emotional alert — it began staging monthly air-raid drills, complete with sirens, in December — since President Trump and Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea, began exchanging nuclear threats. Estimates vary, but it would take a little more than half an hour for a missile launched from North Korea to reach Hawaii, traversing an arc of roughly 5,700 miles. State officials said that residents here would have as little as 12 minutes to find shelter once an alert was issued.

Within moments of the first announcement, people flocked to shelters, crowding highways in scenes of terror and helplessness. Emergency sirens wailed in parts of the state, adding to the panic.

“I was running through all the scenarios in my head, but there was nowhere to go, nowhere to pull over to,” said Mike Staskow, a retired military captain.

Allyson Niven, who lives in Kailua-Kona, said her first instinct was to gather her family as she contemplated what she thought would be her final minutes alive.

“We fully felt like we were about to die,” she said. “I drove to try to get to my kids even though I knew I probably wouldn’t make it, and I fully was visualizing what was happening while I was on the road. It was awful.”

Ray Gerst was vacationing on Oahu with his wife to celebrate their 28th wedding anniversary. He received the alert as they pulled up for their tour of Kualoa Ranch.

“All the buses stopped, and people came running out of the ranch and said, ‘Just sit still for a minute, nobody get off the bus, nobody get off the bus,’” he said.

They were taken into the mountains, Mr. Gerst said, and dropped off at a concrete bunker. They sheltered in place for about 15 minutes, he said, during which time they had no cell signal.

“It was scary,” Mr. Gerst said. “I mean, there was no intel.”

At Konawaena High School on the Island of Hawaii, where a high school wrestling championship was taking place, school officials, more accustomed to alerts of high surf or tsunamis, moved people to the center of the gym as they tried to figure out how to take shelter from a missile.

“Everyone cooperated,” said Kellye Krug, the athletic director at the school. “Once they were gathered, we let them use cellphones to reach loved ones. There were a couple kids who were emotional, the coaches were right there to console kids. After the retraction was issued, we gave kids time to reach out again.”

Matt LoPresti, a state representative, told CNN that he and his family headed for a bathroom. “I was sitting in the bathtub with my children, saying our prayers,” he said.

Natalie Haena, 38, of Honolulu, said she was getting ready to take her daughter to ice skating lessons when the alert came. “There’s nothing to prep for a missile coming in,” she said. “We have no bomb shelters or anything like that. There’s nowhere to go.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/13/us/hawaii-missile.html
User avatar

office plant
 
Posts: 9647
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:58 am

Postby freezinseason » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:43 am

as if north korea would do that. UK is more likely to fuck up in that way. they want their empire back
User avatar

freezinseason
 
Posts: 3727
Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2017 12:48 am

Postby fresco painter » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:49 am

Johan POOPLER wrote:
Annie May wrote:Can't wait until the giant pizza ovencar splatters a pedestrian


issa gonna make-a big-a tomato sauce.....bellisimo

that's amore
User avatar

fresco painter
Comptroller
 
Posts: 31305
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:13 am
Location: rare turtle

Postby Durham » Tue Jan 16, 2018 12:52 pm



the interface to inform you of your impending death by immolation or chemical poisoning is somehow the same as a craigslist ad for a used ps3
User avatar

Durham
 
Posts: 43008
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:34 pm
Location: 火車

Postby murray st. » Wed Jan 17, 2018 2:53 pm



A meme should not become a family tragedy. Don't eat poison.
User avatar

murray st.
 
Posts: 25157
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:31 pm

Postby Buzz Fledderjohn » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:40 pm

User avatar

Buzz Fledderjohn
 
Posts: 27576
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:21 pm

Postby a falsetto child » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:44 pm

Minister of a lonely heart is much better than the minister of a broken heart.
User avatar

a falsetto child
 
Posts: 42420
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:21 pm
Location: spin room

Postby goofjan » Wed Jan 17, 2018 4:00 pm

murray st. wrote:

A meme should not become a family tragedy. Don't eat poison.


I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by laundry pods,
foaming hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the suburban streets at dawn looking
for a soapy fix,
Tide-headed memesters vlogging for the ancient viral
connection to the zeitgeist in the washing machinery of night
plz if u get a chanse put some flowrs on algernons grave kthxbye
User avatar

goofjan
 
Posts: 9758
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:23 pm
Location: Searing Gas Pain Land

Postby Milquetoaster Strudels » Wed Jan 17, 2018 4:04 pm

Not sure where to put this, but the chairwoman of the Minnesota GOP is openly soliciting bribes *cough* sorry--"donations"

http://m.startribune.com/apnewsbreak-mi ... ection=%2F
User avatar

Milquetoaster Strudels
 
Posts: 28870
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:14 pm
Location: Minneapolis

Postby Dead_Wizard » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:07 pm

hell is us

Is Blockchain the Answer to Sexual Consent?


http://fortune.com/2018/01/16/consent-app-me-too/
User avatar

Dead_Wizard
 
Posts: 12097
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:45 pm

Postby strange potion » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:31 pm



My prayers have been answered.
strange potion
 
Posts: 2254
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:22 am

Postby noiseandpop » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:34 pm

too bad it's a conservative initiative.

rest in piss.
~~cry urself 2 ash~~
User avatar

noiseandpop
piss reeking meth goblin
 
Posts: 1159
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 4:46 am
Location: England

Postby tgk » Thu Jan 18, 2018 1:21 pm

User avatar

tgk
 
Posts: 51447
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:45 pm
Location: Chicago

Postby strange potion » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:11 pm

noiseandpop wrote:too bad it's a conservative initiative.

rest in piss.


Needs must

strange potion
 
Posts: 2254
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:22 am

Postby landspeedrecord » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:13 pm

goofjan grievens wrote:
murray st. wrote:

A meme should not become a family tragedy. Don't eat poison.


I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by laundry pods,
foaming hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the suburban streets at dawn looking
for a soapy fix,
Tide-headed memesters vlogging for the ancient viral
connection to the zeitgeist in the washing machinery of night

lol
rather be an idiot than a sheeple
User avatar

landspeedrecord
 
Posts: 18862
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:06 am
Location: queens

Postby Honk For Dracula » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:15 pm

the Wizard of Loneliness
User avatar

Honk For Dracula
 
Posts: 57914
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:28 pm
Location: Jerklyn

Postby cartola » Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:16 pm

User avatar

cartola
 
Posts: 11234
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:36 pm
Location: wow

Postby Jeremy » Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:40 am

Robo-Chachi wrote:Minister of a lonely heart is much better than the minister of a broken heart.


Yesssssss.
User avatar

Jeremy
 
Posts: 78470
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:46 pm
Location: Clown town.

Postby delgriffith » Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:13 am

User avatar

delgriffith
 
Posts: 47435
Joined: Sun Dec 27, 2009 5:26 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Aguachile Alley

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: a new dad for all, all day breakfast, Autarch, beardhurts, bluelips, Brother Kenny, buboclot, chewy, dan, darger, Double McDouble, Eyeball Kid, Fr. Blanc, frito pie country, Google [Bot], griffith scannell, guaranteed mediocrity, Hal Jordan, hoopdog, HotFingersClub, i am rich, jalapeño ranch, Jefferson Zeppelin, kirito, Legion, mego, Merciel, Milquetoaster Strudels, mini, mondrary, palmer eldritch, papi chulo, Phil, pink snake, poobread, Poptone, powderfinger, qwerty, Rainbow Battle Kid, rankoutsider, REAL BASED SLOB, Red Donuts, ripersnifle, Robert, sadville, sassafras socks, scurrydog, Shotfrog, sine o the times, springheeljack, surly, Tackleberry, That Demon Life, toots, trampoline, tsargaritaville, wakeman, walt whitman, warmjets, xxx-xxx-xxxx and 334 guests