what was your lowest moment?

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Dead_Wizard » Thu May 30, 2019 12:34 pm

I made a convoluted joke where the punchline was my family dying in a train crash to a person who lost their parents in a train crash.

*I was not aware of their parents prior! I was also 13.
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Postby becky » Thu May 30, 2019 12:35 pm

mariavesperi wrote:
draw wrote:asking a subway employee if they sold bottles of sweet onion sauce for individual purchase

On a road trip once, my brother asked for "as much as you can possibly put on it." It was flowing out of the sandwich wrapper, even before he unwrapped it or took his first bite. I think he ate it while driving. That car's interior was never the same.


when I worked at Hungry Howie's some guy called up and asked for extra ranch dust on the crust. he said something to effect of "seriously dude. load me up. I love that stuff." boy did I ever
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Postby Annie May » Thu May 30, 2019 12:37 pm

When i was younger i had a tendency to violently self-harm when i was in intense distress and under the influence. I gave myself multiple concussions ages 19-20 from smashing my head into the wall when things hit the fan. I don't want to go into details because it's painful to type out but it was traumatic, especially for the people around me and acting out in this manner is one of my biggest regrets/low points. I'm grateful for therapists and medication for helping me learn to cope with my emotions.
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Postby Ted Pikul » Thu May 30, 2019 12:42 pm

Made a thread around 2008 where I insisted I was an alcoholic because I drank “at least one beer a night”
loaf angel wrote:I love how Ted makes every thread as a testament to how fucking boring he is.

"I bought a new garden hose mk 2"
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Postby Annie May » Thu May 30, 2019 12:44 pm

Since i guess this is a joke thread my answer should be the time i saw this author speak at my college and one of the novels he had written was called 'the cloud atlas' and i mistakenly assumed he was the guy who had written 'cloud atlas', the sci fi novel that was later adapted for the big screen by the wachowski sisters. He was not, he'd had the misfortune of having one of his book titles co-opted by a more famous author and when i went up to talk to him afterwards and told him how much i loved 'cloud atlas' he gave me the most smarmy, sarcastic response. It doesn't seem like a big deal now but i was so, so mortified when i realized what happened.
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Postby Dead_Wizard » Thu May 30, 2019 12:48 pm

I too had a Cloud Atlas confusion moment resulting in sheer embarassment.
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Postby mcwop23 » Thu May 30, 2019 12:49 pm

Dead_Wizard wrote:I too had a Cloud Atlas confusion moment resulting in sheer embarassment.


yeah i watched it too
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Postby joe » Thu May 30, 2019 12:58 pm

Annie May wrote:Since i guess this is a joke thread my answer should be the time i saw this author speak at my college and one of the novels he had written was called 'the cloud atlas' and i mistakenly assumed he was the guy who had written 'cloud atlas', the sci fi novel that was later adapted for the big screen by the wachowski sisters. He was not, he'd had the misfortune of having one of his book titles co-opted by a more famous author and when i went up to talk to him afterwards and told him how much i loved 'cloud atlas' he gave me the most smarmy, sarcastic response. It doesn't seem like a big deal now but i was so, so mortified when i realized what happened.


https://www.theawl.com/2012/11/ways-in-which-the-movie-cloud-atlas-has-changed-my-life/

I remember that I ate at another chain in Bethel, Subway, as a guest of the town librarian, who had graduated from library science school about five minutes earlier, and when I asked her who was paying for these overpriced, but-that’s-a-long-way-for-Jared-to-ship-the-shredded-lettuce, $10 foot-long turkeys on wheat, her or the library, she said, “I am the library.”
Last edited by joe on Tue Sep 11, 2001 4:20 am, edited 69 times in total.
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Postby Annie May » Thu May 30, 2019 12:59 pm

Oh i shat myself camping on an island with my uncle when i was 12 and tried to hide it even though I'd soiled my clothes and sleeping bag, that might be my childhood low
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Postby Annie May » Thu May 30, 2019 1:03 pm

joe wrote:
Annie May wrote:Since i guess this is a joke thread my answer should be the time i saw this author speak at my college and one of the novels he had written was called 'the cloud atlas' and i mistakenly assumed he was the guy who had written 'cloud atlas', the sci fi novel that was later adapted for the big screen by the wachowski sisters. He was not, he'd had the misfortune of having one of his book titles co-opted by a more famous author and when i went up to talk to him afterwards and told him how much i loved 'cloud atlas' he gave me the most smarmy, sarcastic response. It doesn't seem like a big deal now but i was so, so mortified when i realized what happened.


https://www.theawl.com/2012/11/ways-in-which-the-movie-cloud-atlas-has-changed-my-life/

I remember that I ate at another chain in Bethel, Subway, as a guest of the town librarian, who had graduated from library science school about five minutes earlier, and when I asked her who was paying for these overpriced, but-that’s-a-long-way-for-Jared-to-ship-the-shredded-lettuce, $10 foot-long turkeys on wheat, her or the library, she said, “I am the library.”

Lol
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Postby Sobieski » Thu May 30, 2019 1:07 pm

mcwop23 wrote:
Dead_Wizard wrote:I too had a Cloud Atlas confusion moment resulting in sheer embarassment.


yeah i watched it too

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Postby draw » Thu May 30, 2019 1:26 pm

becky wrote:
mariavesperi wrote:
draw wrote:asking a subway employee if they sold bottles of sweet onion sauce for individual purchase

On a road trip once, my brother asked for "as much as you can possibly put on it." It was flowing out of the sandwich wrapper, even before he unwrapped it or took his first bite. I think he ate it while driving. That car's interior was never the same.


when I worked at Hungry Howie's some guy called up and asked for extra ranch dust on the crust. he said something to effect of "seriously dude. load me up. I love that stuff." boy did I ever

These are making me think of the post about the person who would request extra caramel at Starbucks and then chant and clap "car-a-mel" as the machine glooped it out. Anyone have that one? That's basically me with onion sauce
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Postby Buddy Knox » Thu May 30, 2019 2:26 pm

Dead_Wizard wrote:I made a convoluted joke where the punchline was my family dying in a train crash to a person who lost their parents in a train crash.

*I was not aware of their parents prior! I was also 13.


This reminds me of a post that I think about often:

fackelmann wrote:This happened around 1998, but it remains with me in 2015: I was hanging out with a kid whose last name was Bean. There were maybe 5 of us, and he was a friend of a friend id just met. I said "hey! Your dads name is bean too! Mr Bean! Haha!" Blank stares from everyone, so I started doing an impression of Mr. Bean to jog their memory. The impression consisted of just awful miming and snorting noises. Everyone just kind of wandered away from me. I was later told that that kid's Dad had committed suicide a few weeks earlier.
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Postby Riverchrist » Thu May 30, 2019 3:15 pm

December 8th, 2005—I was in Avalon Park for Failed Romance reasons then had to get home to Logan Square during a major snowstorm. It was quite an adventure and I should write it all down. ♫ The Saddest Adventure ♫

A jet skidded off the runway at Midway and squished a kid that night so it could’ve been mildly worse.
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Postby Riverchrist » Thu May 30, 2019 3:28 pm

I suppose I was a lot lower in the months following but then there was less adventure and more smoking cigarettes indoors. I am going b a c k i n t i m e

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Postby mariavesperi » Thu May 30, 2019 4:43 pm

Milk wrote: i'm 90% of the time at least naked from waist down in my apartment (no i dont consider it something abnormal to do, I suppose im kind of a home nudist?

This is called "Donald Duck'n it"
Fear is an illusion!
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Postby virile » Thu May 30, 2019 4:51 pm

when i was a homeless person i liked to sneak into an unused mall stairwell and catch some z's during the day
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Postby Ides of Smarch » Thu May 30, 2019 5:12 pm

i can't even think of one singularly worst moment. they are all bad.
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Postby Kenny » Thu May 30, 2019 5:16 pm

The most pathetic i've ever felt is one time a girlfriend told me she had to hang out with her mom instead of me and I angrily punched my windshield and it cracked and I had to tell everybody I was driing and a rock came out of nowhere and broke the windshield
Image [PEACE] [LOVE] [UNITY] [RESPECT] ImageImage

You are a sacred being of light projected into reality for a purpose. Demand the right to your moment in this holographic gift with no rules, no borders, except for those who you choose to accept and live by.

I don't wanna go to school. I just wanna be a fool. Just wanna play videogames all the time and everyday.
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Postby mercenaries of slime » Thu May 30, 2019 5:29 pm

gut-wrenching ones aside, once for like a month i wore these constantly

Image

and insisted that i was "bringing them back"
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Postby Sobieski » Thu May 30, 2019 5:51 pm

there was a period of my life where I kept blowing up car engines.
So probably it was after having blown an engine and pulled over on the side of the highway waiting for the tow truck to come and wondering how i had ended up here yet again
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Postby guy forget » Thu May 30, 2019 5:53 pm

Buddy Knox wrote:
Dead_Wizard wrote:I made a convoluted joke where the punchline was my family dying in a train crash to a person who lost their parents in a train crash.

*I was not aware of their parents prior! I was also 13.


This reminds me of a post that I think about often:

fackelmann wrote:This happened around 1998, but it remains with me in 2015: I was hanging out with a kid whose last name was Bean. There were maybe 5 of us, and he was a friend of a friend id just met. I said "hey! Your dads name is bean too! Mr Bean! Haha!" Blank stares from everyone, so I started doing an impression of Mr. Bean to jog their memory. The impression consisted of just awful miming and snorting noises. Everyone just kind of wandered away from me. I was later told that that kid's Dad had committed suicide a few weeks earlier.


these are a very good genre of story
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Postby Celiac » Thu May 30, 2019 6:40 pm

wouldn't really mind if i was in the midst of it
Gorgeous, Fantasy, Melody, Sweet, Kung Fu, Prof, Mac.
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Postby chairkicker » Tue Jun 11, 2019 11:57 pm

calling The Band "dad rock"
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Postby joe » Tue Jul 16, 2019 3:31 am

guy forget wrote:
Buddy Knox wrote:
Dead_Wizard wrote:I made a convoluted joke where the punchline was my family dying in a train crash to a person who lost their parents in a train crash.

*I was not aware of their parents prior! I was also 13.


This reminds me of a post that I think about often:

fackelmann wrote:This happened around 1998, but it remains with me in 2015: I was hanging out with a kid whose last name was Bean. There were maybe 5 of us, and he was a friend of a friend id just met. I said "hey! Your dads name is bean too! Mr Bean! Haha!" Blank stares from everyone, so I started doing an impression of Mr. Bean to jog their memory. The impression consisted of just awful miming and snorting noises. Everyone just kind of wandered away from me. I was later told that that kid's Dad had committed suicide a few weeks earlier.


these are a very good genre of story


joe wrote:some girl said something to a friend of mine in elementary school and my friend said "yo mama!" back to her and that girl started crying. apparently her mom had just died or something. about a year later, after not speaking to my friend since that incident she walked up to her on the playground with a posse and stared my friend straight in the eyes and said "you ain't nothing but a hoochie mama. Hood rat. Hood rat. Hoochie mama." and then walked away.
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Postby futurist » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:17 am

fucking an on-duty in-uniform cop at a laundromat

(acab)
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Postby futurist » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:18 am

waking up in jail to a stick figure hanging by a noose carved into the wall and (in a separate incident) cumming a little while a cop held a gun to my temple during a raid are both comedic in retrospect and may not be my "lowest"
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Postby futurist » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:19 am

wow i'm suddenly noticing a pattern
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Postby Brouhaha » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:50 am

futurist wrote:fucking an on-duty in-uniform cop at a laundromat

(acab)

deets
"Fantasizing about having blackout curtains and a proper writing desk"

make it mild
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Postby futurist » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:59 am

i just tried googling a photo of it and uhhhh apparently it was this one

Image

so yeah, definitely my lowest moment
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