Fruitless attempts at being cool in your childhood

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Bernie » Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:16 pm

tricksforchips wrote:I lied about getting nipple rings one summer.


Did you at least try to tape some earrings on your nipples so it looked like you had them pierced through your shirt?
User avatar
Bernie
Mayonnaise Boy
 
Posts: 15689
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:47 pm

Postby dvr » Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:19 pm

Viz wrote:I spent a lot of time at the local library when I was a kid. One time I was in there, when these three cool neighbourhood kids walked in. I wanted to impress them on "my turf" so I tried showing them where the "cool" books were like the Star Wars stuff and so on. They were actually kinda into it surprisingly, but we all got pretty loud and shit looking at these different cool books. The librarian of course came to where we were and told us to keep it down. Before she leaves, she smiles and looks at me and goes, "Hey Viz!". The other kids just stared and said, "She knows your name?"


this
User avatar
dvr
 
Posts: 6644
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2009 3:50 pm

Postby seank37 » Tue Jul 16, 2019 1:26 am

Middle school, 1986. The Beastie Boys had just broke and there was a talent show coming up. My friends and I tried out as "The Loonie Boys". We learned the lyrics to Paul Revere, split up the parts, and tried out with that. We got into the talent show, but they told us we couldn't perform that song. We ended up writing a couple of originals and did those instead. The only one I remember was called "Old King Cole." The chorus was "Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he. The Loonie Boys, that's who we are. And the Loonie Boys we be." I had a whole outfit for this performance that I made my mom buy. I was Sean Ad-Rock, though I was dressed like Mike D. I wore that dumb hat everywhere. I was at an amusement park around that time, wearing that dumb hat, and I passed by some dudes and one of them said, "What are YOU supposed to be?"
User avatar
seank37
 
Posts: 1102
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 1:53 pm

Postby saranclaps » Tue Jul 16, 2019 1:33 am

trying to pretend i saw the mummy returns and describing my favorite scene as something i saw in a magazine
Real Love wrote:every once in a while saranclaps will try to do a funny and it's an extremely off note but I'm not totally convinced he's aware of what is happening
User avatar
saranclaps
 
Posts: 19353
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:49 pm
Location: vasing for interludes

Postby chimp » Tue Jul 16, 2019 1:33 am

sounds cool honestly
User avatar
chimp
 
Posts: 6732
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2013 5:32 pm

Postby Catullus » Tue Jul 16, 2019 1:42 am

The librarians at my local library not only knew me but would pick out books for me when I inevitably came in once a day over summer. I always won my age division for reading books over summer, which was a tower records gift certificate.

But I will forever be grateful to those librarians who pointed me in the direction of Margaret Atwood and Ray Bradbury and Ursula K Le Guin.
opi wrote:like i don't think it's possible for catullus to be duplicitous, whereas pretty much every other poster at the time struck me as having one foot in shinra
User avatar
Catullus
Our McGonagall
 
Posts: 15370
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:29 pm
Location: South Florida, as yet above water

Postby Buddy Knox » Tue Jul 16, 2019 1:56 am

In seventh grade I pretended to like Barenaked Ladies and even asked my mom to buy me Stunt just so I’d fit in. I listened to it about 50 times in one week just in case one of the kids in my class decided to interrogate me about it. What a chore. Of course it was all pointless anyway because I had just transferred from public K-6 to Catholic middle school and those kids were poison.
User avatar
Buddy Knox
 
Posts: 1537
Joined: Sat Jul 01, 2017 6:12 pm

Postby Milk » Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:56 am

This reminded me somehow of the time this cool and attractive girl in one of my class thought she needed to make a snide remark about my Pearl Jam t-shirt because she had been wearing the same for quite a while before i got mine and she scoffed and said something like "i bet you don't even know the lyrics to the songs" (this was when they only still had one record, Ten) and i was thinking "b, i could recite the whole record beginning to end right now which i doubt you could" but because i was ever meek i don't think i said anything and i just smiled stupidly and said nothing. The thing is i hadn't bought the shirt for this, i liked it and already listened to the band, BUT part of me had thought hey this cool girl will notice i have the same shirt and then maybe she'll see me differently and maybe she'll even talk to me but no, her take was that i was ruining what she liked by liking it too (or just trying to pretend i was cool), not that liking what she did made me cooler. Of course the fact that she reacted this way i now know means she wasn't cool at all.
"I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands.."
User avatar
Milk
 
Posts: 13003
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:56 am
Location: Shut the fuck up Milk

Postby Milk » Tue Jul 16, 2019 3:02 am

Of course one of the painful realisation of life is when it occurs to you (in your twenties usually) that you were really probably one of the coolest person in school in hindsight but because people's idea of cool and their false perceptions of you, you were just deemed some sort of loser nerd. On the other hand it's kind of a nice boost to your ego to realise this. You know these people are just condemened to a life of being lame-os. While...YOU....uh.....sit there alone in your shit apartment at 40....claiming...you were cooler than them?........ :|
"I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands.."
User avatar
Milk
 
Posts: 13003
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:56 am
Location: Shut the fuck up Milk

Postby sudokuthug » Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:28 am

lord forgive me for i have sinned

ImageToggle Spoiler
User avatar
sudokuthug
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:15 pm

Postby archaic » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:43 am

The coolest outfit for guys at my middle school was wearing denim shorts with knee-high athletic socks that were then pushed down somewhat and bunched proportionately down your leg. The coolest guy in school, Lance Cooley, wore these and I mentally thought of them as "Cooley socks". Everybody wore them. I wore them. We were all cool. But then I moved across the state for the start of 8th grade and I had no conception that the fashion standards would change. I wore my Cooley socks to school the first week and noticed that nobody else was doing this. But rather than reassess I decided I was going to model the new cool look for the my classmates. This was a mistake, and the year ended with me attempting to wear Nine Inch Nails shirts and (unsuccessfully) fit in with the outcasts and burnouts in the school.
all of which are American dreams
User avatar
archaic
 
Posts: 2982
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:14 pm

Postby RIXX » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:47 am

sudokuthug wrote:lord forgive me for i have sinned

ImageToggle Spoiler

were these geoff rowleys?
User avatar
RIXX
 
Posts: 8968
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: nonchalant

Postby Denise » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:56 am

My mom bought me an all yellow outfit out of nowhere one day (my parents were perpetually broke so I wore dumb clothes most of the time) but like yellow shirt, yellow shorts, yellow socks and yellow Converse

I wore it and a bunch of kids said I looked cool so I spent 85% of that year looking like a fucking banana
User avatar
Denise
 
Posts: 2518
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:48 pm

Postby tricksforchips » Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:12 am

Bernie wrote:
tricksforchips wrote:I lied about getting nipple rings one summer.


Did you at least try to tape some earrings on your nipples so it looked like you had them pierced through your shirt?

No I just told everyone my mom made me take them out for school.
User avatar
tricksforchips
 
Posts: 3833
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 1:21 pm

Postby dusky » Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:12 am

Denise wrote:My mom bought me an all yellow outfit out of nowhere one day (my parents were perpetually broke so I wore dumb clothes most of the time) but like yellow shirt, yellow shorts, yellow socks and yellow Converse

I wore it and a bunch of kids said I looked cool so I spent 85% of that year looking like a fucking banana


sounds pretty fruitful
User avatar
dusky
 
Posts: 3604
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 7:09 pm
Location: up your butt

Postby Tetradyne » Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:11 am

I had the Vans TNT’s along with about two dozen others in my middle school. I had a CKY shirt and a CKY back pack that somehow backfired with this group of ill tempered bullies. It was all just punk rock from there until I got into trouble in high school and went through somewhat of an identity crisis. At one point I was just trying to look smart which in my head consisted of cardigan sweaters and button up shirts with dress pants. Someone said they liked my maroon cardigan once and I flipped them off because I still had an attitude I guess. After college I kinda had my first real breakdown and started dressing a lot like my dad. Haha.
User avatar
Tetradyne
 
Posts: 2150
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:26 pm

Postby pablito » Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:28 am

I called everyone’s wingtips in the men’s fashion thread on here “bitchmade” when i was 17
User avatar
pablito
 
Posts: 11495
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:25 pm
Location: chicago illinois, pm me for address, come fucking fight me

Postby kit fox » Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:43 am

i know there are tons of these moments in my life but my brain wont let me access them. 6th - 10th grade was hell for me.
User avatar
kit fox
Mike Vance
 
Posts: 17756
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:57 pm
Location: Real Gone

Postby figaro » Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:45 am

who on this board was actually cool

i am interested in that
User avatar
figaro
 
Posts: 3022
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 2:05 pm

Postby Eyeball Kid » Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:45 pm

I was never cool and I never tried to be cool. Is that, in a way, cool?
User avatar
Eyeball Kid
 
Posts: 28301
Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:17 pm

Postby Riverchrist » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:07 pm

This phenomenon was never more perfectly and painfully illustrated than when the real rabbits asked whether he had hind legs and the velveteen rabbit answered “I’m sitting on them.”
User avatar
Riverchrist
 
Posts: 8811
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:07 pm
Location: Ohmtown

Postby VHB » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:17 pm

6th-7th grade are just the absolute worst aren't they
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

bill wrote:every hooker deserves an Oscar for faking orgasms i swear to god

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
User avatar
VHB
VHS
 
Posts: 9237
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:52 pm
Location: The Cup In Front Of Me

Postby came to wreck » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:22 pm

wore a black nike shirt, black nike shorts, black nike sandals and black nike socks but the socks were way too long on me so i decided it was smart to pull them down and tuck the long ass floppy toe under the foot when it was in the sandal, was a weird day at school walking around like that and def never tried that look again
User avatar
came to wreck
 
Posts: 12909
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:50 pm

Postby bruceagain » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:24 pm

figaro wrote:who on this board was actually cool

i am interested in that

cool kids don't end up forum posters
The Internet is supposed to be fun. If you're not enjoying yourself, you can leave the forum forever and never look back.
User avatar
bruceagain
 
Posts: 28308
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 7:55 am
Location: lived in trees

Postby came to wreck » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:24 pm

also had really bad acne in HS and one day i got fed up and borrowed a little bit of my moms makeup to cover it up. this slowly became part of my morning routine and i gradually used more and more to cover up the acne but then one day my friend in geometry was like "are you wearing makeup???" and that was the end of using makeup to cover the acne
User avatar
came to wreck
 
Posts: 12909
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:50 pm

Postby bruceagain » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:26 pm

Eyeball Kid wrote:I was never cool and I never tried to be cool. Is that, in a way, cool?

Image
The Internet is supposed to be fun. If you're not enjoying yourself, you can leave the forum forever and never look back.
User avatar
bruceagain
 
Posts: 28308
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 7:55 am
Location: lived in trees

Postby Buddy Knox » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:32 pm

bruceagain wrote:
figaro wrote:who on this board was actually cool

i am interested in that

cool kids don't end up forum posters


Beg your pardon?

https://www.oakleyforum.com/
User avatar
Buddy Knox
 
Posts: 1537
Joined: Sat Jul 01, 2017 6:12 pm

Postby came to wreck » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:47 pm

lol i actually have an account and have made posts on the oakley forum
User avatar
came to wreck
 
Posts: 12909
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:50 pm

Postby nautical hyperblast » Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:39 am

Image
i wanted this look so badly btw.
Image
User avatar
nautical hyperblast
 
Posts: 11357
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 4:01 pm
Location: a gentrified neighborhood

Postby mariavesperi » Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:48 am

dusky wrote:
Denise wrote:My mom bought me an all yellow outfit out of nowhere one day (my parents were perpetually broke so I wore dumb clothes most of the time) but like yellow shirt, yellow shorts, yellow socks and yellow Converse

I wore it and a bunch of kids said I looked cool so I spent 85% of that year looking like a fucking banana


sounds pretty fruitful

Jesus I just got this
Fear is an illusion!
User avatar
mariavesperi
 
Posts: 1490
Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 6:40 pm
Location: The Mirth Mobile

PreviousNext

Return to Mamma Mia... Here We Go Again....

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: adamtrask, Althea, andrei, antoine, ASH NERVE, average deceiver, axelrod gunnarson, Bad Craziness, Beautiful Jugdish, becky, beefbroth inthe shitpipes, blackbetty, bluelips, bluemovers, brent, butter, buzzard, cartola, chopperpilot, clouds, coop, Cronos, crooked, dan, Dead_Wizard, def from above, doublethink0, emotional fascism, Endtro, esmuydavista, Eyeball Kid, feaxfang, flimsy, Flossed Out, folkface, Franco, Fullscreen, Future, glaucon, goofjan, Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, grammatron, Grendel, Grumby, hadlex, high bias, hilbert, hit record, hoopdog, hopped, howiep, iacus, jalapeño ranch, joe, k_uger, Kaputt, Kevin McCallister, Klint, landspeedrecord, light rail coyote, linoleum , loaf angel, Lucky, lunatic96, manierisme, Marcus, Marlon Rando, mcwop23, meld, messier object, Milquetoaster Strudels, Mister Modular, naturemorte, NegativeCapability, new blood,, nice pass, No Good Advice, nocents, pink snake, powderfinger, pro_life_cutie, quilty, razzle, sassafras socks, Science, scrambled, screaming emphysema, scurrydog, Shaggy 2 Dope, shankly, shirts optional, slime, snuggle, southpaw, spix et chicho, surly, Tar Pit, terrific bedwetter, thanksbutnothanksman, the scofflaw, toots, trigross, TwoInchesOfTrouble, ueckerist, unbiaseddairylodge, villalobos, Viz, wakeman, waldojeffers1, walt, wario lopez, warmjets, xxx-xxx-xxxx, yungboi