HPN WW #10: Transylvania (VAMPIRES WIN!)

There are worse ways to spend the time, but not many.

Postby bongo » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:01 pm

i can play #41 on stomach djembe
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby pantsoclock » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:04 pm

I remember when Liviu, my best kid, wandered onto the grounds of Vânătă's inn. He was helpful, it seemed, until we found little Liviu eating American tv dinners out of the hotel garbage. Then he was very cold. The little cârlan disturbed him I think. Liviu shivered all the way back to the farm. Whether from the interaction or the dinners I do not know.
I pay tax to help pay for things like police..fire..parks..but it goes to Ferguson like people and foreigners who are scamming our stupid government that is full of pasta thieves like this guy
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Postby sevenarts » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:13 pm

The long Romanian night has only just begun, but suddenly lightning flashes through the sky and a loud scream erupts. Everyone peers outside their windows, terrified that the bloodshed has already begun. Surely there was still time before the night was over, right?

Outside, bingo stumbles through the center of town, his skin flaking off and blackened from the lightning strike. He had displeased some higher entity by breaking inviolate rules regarding the use of screenshots. He gasps, mutters something about stew, and falls dead in the street.

bingo is dead. He was a Villager.

Night 1 continues now.
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Postby kit fox » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:15 pm

Gdi i was about to buy some stew
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Postby palmer eldritch » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:16 pm

:|
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Postby bongo » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:19 pm

oOoOoOo :| oOoOoOo
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby VHB » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:19 pm

"You're seriously going to go backpacking in the Carpathians in January?"

"...Yes?"

"That's horseshit," the young lady, a local woman identifying herself only as Erszebet continued. "Why are you really here, Mr. Van Helsing? If that is your real name."

Willem Van Helsing-Balanced could not repress a smile so broad it almost knocked his false van dyck mustache off. "Of course it isn't."

"Why would you admit you're lying about your identity?"

"Why, indeed?"

"Wait, so it IS your real name then."

"Because..." Van Helsing asked.

"Because nobody lying about their name would admit to lying about their name so if you say you're lying you must be telling the...I think I need a drink. I'm so confused."

Willem Van Helsing-Balanced produced two goblets and what appeared to be a canteen of water.

"Good. In order to confuse vampires you must first confuse yourself," he said, pouring an equal measure into the goblets.

"Vampires? Preposterous. Mr. Van Helsing, I know you're from Amsterdam. How much weed did you smoke before coming to Romania?"

"None, for once," he cut her off immediately. "Are you going to give me the nonsense about Vampires merely being a popular local myth borne out of regional history? A couple nasty rumors about a Wallachian prince that just got out of hand? Erszebet, you've lived in Transylvania your entire life. I know you know better than that, and furthermore I know that you know that I know better. That's why you're here. To learn how to protect yourself and your family and friends from vampires."

"Actually it was the werewolves," she corrected.

"Yes, well, vampires, werewolves, the bogeyman, necromancers, long dead egyptian pharoahs wrapped in linen, it's all the same, really. The technique you need to master is useful against them all. Which is fortunate since Romania seems to be imperiled by them all. Ceausescu was huge into the occult. You'd be surprised how many cold war era dictators were."

He put the goblets down, one in front of Erszebet, one in front of himself.

"Drink," he said.

Erszebet reached for the one in front of her until Willem Van Helsing-Balanced yelled at her to stop.

"Stop! You're really going to just reach for the one I give you? That's a good way to get your blood sucked by a vampire."

"So... the one in front of you then," she said, reaching for that before Van Helsing cut her off again.

"Of course not! Vampires are cunning, arrogant creatures. And werewolves and bogeymen too. You have to trick them, you have to tempt them. They are loathe to resist a challenge to their cunning. They love a contest of wits. Such as the goblet gambit. You fill one with holy water, and another one with regular water, and invite them to drink and guess which is which."

"So how do you make sure they choose wrong, Mr. Van Helsing?"

Van Helsing smiled, and this time his false van dyck DID fall off.

"You cheat, of course. You fill both with holy water because you'll be fine either way. This, my dear Erszebet, is what you must understand in order to master the ancient martial art of Ci-Fom."

Willem Van Helsing-Balanced stopped only to pick up his fake mustache before leaving the pub in great haste, leaving poor Erszebet a great deal more confused and afraid than she was when the evening started.
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby can't » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:26 pm

screen shots are boring.
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Postby VHB » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:27 pm

lol somebody already died while I was RPing.

Plenty of RP opportunities to be the Memorial Stew Shop Vendor, if one is so inclined.
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby lordofdiapers » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:31 pm

What the hell
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby adamtrask » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:32 pm

The bloody hell happened? Does that happen often 'round here, blokes just up and dying like that?
Stuntman wrote:The party's over and we're just the people who are too drunk to drive home and everyone is fighting over who gets to sleep on the couch.
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Postby can't » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:33 pm

Some one known as pierrot has been accused of the narc.
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Postby VHB » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:35 pm

adamtrask wrote:The bloody hell happened? Does that happen often 'round here, blokes just up and dying like that?


Yes, though usually it's due to invoking the unmentionable name of a certain secret society that jealously guards it's anonymity.

Easy enough to avoid their wrath, and yet it happens with alarming regularity!
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby can't » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:35 pm

accused by universe
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Postby fox » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:37 pm

narc blossom wrote:accused by universe


:?
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Postby kit fox » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:37 pm

I would be very interested to know how the hotel proprietor came about this information
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Postby adamtrask » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:37 pm

stakeout wrote:i think the craziest thing i ever saw was my mom get a tattoo for her 70th birthday in south dakota. it was the periodic symbol for gold on her hand. love that lady!


Your mum sounds like the type of gal that'd like to lick my mole. :ahuh:
Stuntman wrote:The party's over and we're just the people who are too drunk to drive home and everyone is fighting over who gets to sleep on the couch.
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Postby palmer eldritch » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:39 pm

narc blossom wrote:accused by universe


actually accused by bingo, so that sucks
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Postby separator » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:40 pm

that was not chill
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Postby can't » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:41 pm

fox wrote:
narc blossom wrote:accused by universe


:?


stakeout wrote: does anyone wanna admit to selling out the chill stew maker and perhaps, why they did?


narc blossom wrote:Some one known as pierrot has been accused of the narc.
narc blossom wrote:accused by universe
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Postby pantsoclock » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:44 pm

Often the Securitate would make people disappear in this way.
I pay tax to help pay for things like police..fire..parks..but it goes to Ferguson like people and foreigners who are scamming our stupid government that is full of pasta thieves like this guy
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Postby lordofdiapers » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:45 pm

Now selling umbrellas at CVS
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby john plainman » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:49 pm

Beetlejuice is sad to lose his friend so early and understands why eyes may be fixed upon him, but hasbeen offline since communicating with fellow villagers this morning and didnt have a chance to cabal and scheme with the peyote man.
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Postby can't » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:50 pm

bluemoon wrote:narc how stoned are you


If you're asking me, I can't say that I am.

If you are referring to accused screen shot narc "pierrot" you'll have ask him.
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Postby kit fox » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:54 pm

And what are the guests speculating
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Postby Alice » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:56 pm

A young lady wanders into Bolly Crogan's Smoke Hole. It's empty except for the clerk behind the counter and a turntable in the corner playing some light drone music. A table with a book sitting open and freshly snuffed-out J in the ashtray sits vacant. She approaches the table and flips the book closed and notes the title scrawled on the front: "Thane's Ripping Stew Recipes"

Lets do everything so Thane can live on through his artisanal stew recipes. Is there a publisher traveling through by chance?
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Postby fuckles » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:57 pm

*flexes*
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby can't » Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:58 pm

Beetlejuice, please divulge your involvement in the ridiculous screen shots that must have caused that drug dealer to incur the wrath of the random lightening which killed him instantly.
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Postby separator » Sat Jan 02, 2016 6:10 pm

bingo wrote:
separator wrote:does anyone like to chill?


yes!


we never even got to chill..
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Postby surly » Sat Jan 02, 2016 6:40 pm

Screenshots caused this man's death? Sound's like Richards' doing.
lordofdiapers wrote:damn it Greedo will forever fuck that word for me
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